LOVE (notes from a weary heart)

I’m not good at love

But I’m not bad at it either

I show up

I try

Maybe that’s all love is

I’ve hurt people who loved me

I’ve loved people who hurt me

Love and hurt seem to

Go hand in hand

Love is hard

An ambiguous art

Where does it live in me?

I can’t find it

It’s a lost continent

Among so many warring 

Places, inside

It has something to do with the color green

And a few times I have

Felt it arrive from nowhere

Most recently,

Outside a hospital gift shop

Love is not magnificent

Like a cathedral

Which cannot be God’s Love

Because I don’t believe

Love can be that big

It seems to work small

No one knows what it is

Everyone knows what it’s not

Not hate

Not killing

Not violence

Not screaming/hitting

(We tell the sandbox kids)

I want to study love

And I tell myself I do

But what is there to learn?

More like, how much is there to unlearn?

I wish love could be large

I wish it could be contagious

Like war and

Like viruses

Unstoppable

Cathy Larson Sky      September, 2017